Up and Down Egypt.

Mood: Hypocritical
Music: "My Hero" - Foo Fighters

I checked up on Dylan and Jasmine a few minutes ago.
Some strong person I turned out to be.

Apparently, Cupcake joined the military and dropped out.
What could have been.

Overall:
Holy fuck.

Keep it all inside, and I'll be just fine.

On the bright side, though, Zach and Ian might be coming with me to Houston in a couple of weeks to go see Radiohead. I'm a little excited... I should try to get Maria to go, too. It would be extrmeely nifty. It's been a while since I've had more than one person spend time with me outside of school (at something that had nothing to DO with school... asides from Ian; Ian's an exception to everything).

Today's weather was beautiful. I can't wait to take advantage of it.


Sunflowers are my favorite flower. I bet you didn't know that.

High School Lyrics.

Mood: Awake; Curious; Pseudointellectual.
Music: "I Hate Everything About You" - Vitamin String Quartet

I hate thinking about it, but Juniper--the eldest greyhound--is getting terribly old. He's going to die within months, and I've never had a pet as long as I've had him... well, that's not true, but, still. I adore him. I can't pause to consider what I might be like the day he dies.

Anyways, on Thursday evening, I went over to Travis's, and we pretty much just kind of hung around and acted like retards until about eleven o' clock. We just kind of laid in his bed and talked, and I couldn't help but consider how improper our situation was. It was kind of comical, actually, but I'm sure that his mother and Ian wouldn't appreciate it at all. That's alright, though.

Nothing too interesting to comment on, though; overall.
I need to write a poem about Zach, and there are TAKS tests coming up all next week. Gross.
Josh is going to be coming over tomorrow. Hooray.

Tired; did quite a bit of studying. Went to work, too. Invigorating, no?
Wish I had more time to read my book. Sad.

Terrence's band came out with a new song and posted it up on EmoSpace. The lyrics are terrible. Kinda makes me angry... they're too complacent. There's no poetry in it at all, and Chad can't sing. I'm tempted to pry them off my Friends list... how snobbish.
Oh, Jeremy showed me the Vitamin String Quartet last night, and I haffta say... they're pretty amazing. I absolutely LOVE their version of "B.Y.O.B." Papa Roache's "Last Resort" was well-covered as well. Makes me smile really big inside.

Oh, and Cassie got rabbits a couple of days ago. One's poofy and brownish, and the other's all calico-esque. Whoo. The males (the latter) is named Starbuck, and the puffy female has yet to claim an identity. Hooray. Adorable.

Need to straighten my hair; I've been studying a good deal this evening. Whoo.

1683: Ottoman Empire attempted to attack Vienna, but at the last second Austria countered, and ever since then, they had been on the decline; they played a crucial part in WWI, though. Can't wait to get to that part. I know how nerdy it is, but I love reading my History AP Book. Gah, it's crazy tasty.

Here Comes the Sun.

Mood: Awake.
Music: "Sonne" - Rammstein

Today wasn't too bad, I suppose. For some reason Lee's been in my head all day, and it kind of freaks me out. All I can think about is Christmas Christmas Christmas and how wrong everything can go the next time I got back to West Texas.
How fucking ridiculous is that?
I shouldn't have to fear a fifty year old man.
I should NEVER have to fear any man.

Anyways:
I missed my bus this morning, and was in a terrible mood. Lee started buzzing in my head, and I became horribly withdrawn.
Biology - worked on kingdoms, phylums, etcetera. Logan and Hunter took note on my "depression" and introversion. Icky.
Math - math quiz. Kind of easy, I guess.
World History - did notes the entire time. Woohoo, I guess. Reviewed some US History for next week. Kind of weirded me out.
Lunch -retardation, completed English homework and studied a little for Mrs. Hummel's quiz. heard others play spoons... didn't eat lunch. Ew. I might just stop eating lunch altogether. It doesn't really bother me all that much, and I'll get food by the end of the day in some fashion.
Academic Decathlon - took the yearbook picture, so blah. Came back, studied, and then went to the career center to ask some questions on my Accuplacer submission thing online. Kind of nasty.
Oral Interp - finished my intro after trying to sleep (I've been a sleepy bastard all day). Did some blocking on my Matheson piece. Very nifty.
Latin - did a worksheet, translated a little bit of a story, etcetera. How gross.
English - discussed poetry. Kind of neat; I hate contemporary poetry, but stanzas writ before the nineteenth century are not appreciated as oft as they should.

My friend Aaron --who's been expelled recently, apparently, for wearing knuckles to school on "school grounds"-- came back unexpectedly today. I missed him... I thought he was avoiding me the last time he was around, but he suddenly had no problem talking to me. How strange. It was good to see him, though. Good old Mormon Aaron.

In English, we have a poetry unit project coming up where we have to scribe our own lil' series of stanzas.
My subject = Zacharia "Jezach" David.
Like I said before: Oysters, indie, and Christ. Hell yeah.

I guess life could be more interesting. More lively.
But, Dave & Buster's is tomorrow. Pull an all-nighter with Senor Travissimo. Badass, much? I don't know who else is going, but I'm afraid of being a tightass (which I know I am around people that I don't know... absolutely disgusting; I hope no one that I'm acquainted with awkwardly goes; I'll be sad).

Come on, tomorrow. Burn those calories.

Where Would I Be?

Mood: Sleepy but Peaceful
Music: "So long, Lonesome" - Explosions in the Sky

How old will you be in 3 birthdays?
Ha, technically 18.

Will you be married by then?
Probably not... as much as I would like to be. :]

Who was the last person you hugged?
Ian, I believe.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Trying to sleep. Maybe reading or studying World History. Very sad.

Ever stolen a street sign?
Nah; no desire to.

Do you wear jewlery 24/7?
My earrings, I guess. I don't really take them out unless if the 'lobes become infected; that doesn't happen very often at all, though.

Who is the funniest person you know?
Ha, probably Ian. All of my friends have an amazing lick of humor in them, though. I can't be around a serious person without finding some way to make them crack.

Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
A few; don't ever wear them, though.

What are you mad about right now?
Nothing; I'm utterly peaceful right now.

Are you a jealous person?
I can be extremely so. Lately, I haven't been. Nothing really to envy.

What are you allergic to?
Used to be allergic to nickel, and now it's just dustmites as far as I can remember.

What song lyric, if any, is stuck in your head at the moment?
"Hier kommt die sonne."

What did you dress up as for Halloween?
Didn't; just wore a pretty black and white polka dot dress.

What is your favorite salad dressing?
Italian, of course. Italian = amazing.

What is your current relationship status?
Taken, and happy. :]

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
Ish? I have fading highlights.

Have you ever dated anyone more than once?
Er, kind of. Mistake.

Who was the last friend in your house?
Shua. :D

Is there someone you want to fight?
Ew, I don't fight.

Song playing right now?
"What Do You Go Home To?" - Explosions In the Sky

Does anyone like you?
One, fo' sho'.

What are you thinking about right now?
Ha, Zach. Music. Ian. Homework. Hamster.

What's your middle name?
Leigh.

What were you doing an hour ago?
ASP action, dancing, singing, EmoSpace.

What does your last text message in your inbox say?
"ohh alright then"

Do you secretly like someone?
I don't make a secret out of it at all. It's a bit late for it to be a secret anyway. :]

1) Do you like blue cheese?
Ha, never had it. The whole mold thing would probably make my taste buds cry, though.

2) Have you ever smoked heroin?
This made me LOLOLOLOLOL long time.

3) Do you own guns?
Nah; if there's ever a zombie invasion, we're all diving for Zach's house.

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
I dunno. Always get a diet insert-fruit limeade.

5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Usually not. Fluttery with excitement, I guess; I heart my doctor. He could probably tell me that I have cancer, and he would make me smile.

6) What do you think of hot dogs?
Phallic, but tasty.

7) Favorite Christmas song?
Don't have one. Something by Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I guess.

8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Hot tea, coffee, diet coke, Dr. Pepper, whatever I get a hold of first.

9) Can you do push ups?
A little bit more than one, I guess.

10) Can you do a chin up?
Like... one. :]

11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My turtle necklace, I suppose.

12) Favorite hobby?
Reading, I suppose. /nerd.

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
A minor one. I'm such a whiner-baby.

14) Do you have A.D.D.
A.D.H.D.

15) What's one trait that you hate about yourself?
I'm mistrustful.

16) Middle name?
Leigh.

17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
Straighten hair, go to bed, smile. :D!

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Two shirts from Threadless; that's it.

19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink
Diet Coke, tea, and water.

20) Current worry?
World History AP test. Scurry.

21) Current hate right now?
Mushrooms. Car wrecks.

23) How did you bring in the New Year?
Don't remember. I think Ian was there, though.

24) Where would you like to go?
Italy. I can't wait until next summer.

25) Name three people who will complete this?
Katie obviously did; Travis might. No one else will see this, though.

26) Do you own slippers?
two pairs.

27) What shirt are you wearing?
Lacy camisole.

28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Whatever?

29) Can you whistle?
Used to be able to; then I got braces. Very sad.

30) Favorite color?
Stormy gray, it seems.

31) Would you be a pirate?
Ew, no.

32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
"Strange Fruit" by Billie Holiday, "Telescope Eyes" by Eisley, "Goodbye" by Save Ferris, etc.

33) Favorite girl's names?
Shiloh, Leigh, and Candice.

34) Favorite boy's names?
Edward, James, Ian.

35) What's in your pocket?
Don't have pockets.

36) Last thing that made you laugh?
The Party On song.

37) Best bed sheets as a child?
Whatever.

38) Worst injury you've ever had?
Left arm, I guess.

39) Do you love where you live?
Not too shabby.

40) How many TVs do you have in your house?
4Four or five. How sad.

41) Who is your loudest friend?
Elise.

42) How many dogs do you have?
Two.

43) Does someone have a crush on you?
One for certain.

45) What is your favorite book?
Don't have a favorite.

46) What is your favorite candy?
Smarties and Twizzlers.

47) Favorite Sports Team?
I don't care.

48) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Dunno. Don't care.

49) What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Sleeping.

50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
They won't care if I go back to bed.

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
No one, really. Anyone gone is gone for the better, no doubt.

What does the last text message in your inbox say, and who's it from?
Ha.

3.What's a happy time you've had in the past week?
Having Ian hold me when I'm extremely sleepy.

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
Nah.

Who do you like to spend your nights with?
Ian, and badass people.

Are you an emotional person?
I can be. I don't like showing it, though. The last thing I need is for people to realize how vulnerable I can really be. Kind of nasty.

Are you self-conscious?
Can be.

What's something that can always make you feel better?
Ian, my hamster, friends, books, the nonsensical, etc.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
Try not to.

Who do you feel the most comfortable around?
Ian.

Favorite flavor of Vitamin Water?
Lemon-Lime stuff.

One thing you're looking forward to?
Italy.

What are you not looking forward to?
World History AP Exam.

What are your plans for your next birthday?
I don't know. Celebrating someone else's birthday.

Do you even care about your birthday?
Not really.

Do you think anyone out there loves you?
Hell yeah.

Do you still talk to the person you LAST kissed?
Of course. :D

Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
Don't have an absolute best friend. A few of them, though, yes. Yes, I have.

When is the next time you will kiss with somebody?
Tomorrow morning.

Who's the second person on your missed call list?
My mother.

What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
"Baba O'Riley" - The Who (synth intro)

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping?

What is the last thing you ate?
Terrible pizza. Anchovies = too salty.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Ish.

What color are the curtains of your room?
No curtains. Just blinds.

If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be?
Dunno. Fidel Castro, I guess.

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Pac Sun.

Is anything bothering you right now?
Exam, tiredness, etc.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever heated up in a microwave?
Yogurt Go-gurt thing.

Are you a cuddler?
Kind of. Only with Ian, but, still.

Does anything hurt on your body right now?
left knee and thigh are kind of retarded right now.

Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
Ha, yeah.

Have you ever seen a zebra?
Yes, they make me smile.


Are you offended by dumb blond jokes?
Nah.

What happens tomorrow?
School, Ian, retardation.

If you could go back and change something, would you?
Not at all.

What does your hair look like right now?
Frizzy. Scary.

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
Yes.

Will this weekend be a good one?
Eh.

What is your favorite number?
17.

Look to your right what do you see?
Three-straw cup, CPU, papers, Leonardo da Vinci's face, measuring, etc.

Do you get attached to people easily?
I do. I'm clingy, I think.

Why are you online?
Distractions.

What happened a year ago today?
Sleeping, maybe crying. I dunno.

Have you ever been to Florida?
Nah.

Are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Yes.

If you could ask God for one thing, what would you ask for?
I wouldn't.

Whats one thing thats heavily weighing on your mind?
Hamster, and, weirdly, Mr. Jezach.

It's People.

Mood: Awake.
Music: "It's Natural to Be Afraid" - Explosions in the Sky

My birthday's coming up soon.
I'm kind of skeptical as to what I'm going to do about that day. I mean, it's kind of scary.
Getting older, I mean. Not so much the whole "death" thing about being older, just... responsibility. Commitment to things I've grown so accustomed to putting off. It's crazy scary.

School's going alright. It's been kind of easygoing lately. Lucky me.

Biology- TAKS Warm-ups.
Math - Probability. Crazy easy.
World History - AP Test scantron, etc. Been studying like crazy for the exam in a month. I'm afraid of it. Extremely.
Lunch - studying, retardation, etc.
Academic Decathlon - surprisingly, Scrabble was put off today. We had to take notes on the process of communication because Mrs. Hummel felt like she NEEDED to put grades into the book for us. Yeah, we even have a quiz tomorrow. It's kind of stupid, really, but whatever.
Oral Interp - studied, talked with Kelsey, stole some of Darren's blizzard, watched people behave naturally around others and envied them, etc.
Latin - watched a the third and last part of Masada (starring Peter O'Toole and some other famous people that I pretended to know all about), and learned about the passive indicative voice. Not too stimulating, but enough to keep me ready for the next period.
English - Mrs. Weber wasn't here today... it was very sad. Not really, though. Our substitute was pretty amazing. We had several worksheets dished out to us, but Zach, Maria, Chelsy, Travis and I formed a pretty little circle on the ground and attempted to be industrious. Zach can be charming when he wants to be... it's kind of sad how little he thinks of himself. I wonder if he realizes that he can have any girl he wants if he just tried. Obviously he doesn't, but... it's such an injustice. He talked music almost the entire time and I couldn't help but smile at almost everything he said. Poor guy.

How can someone so unique, so kind, and smart think so lowly of themselves?
It quietly pains me to hear him speak so negatively himself.
He's kind of my hero, now that I think about it.
A hero, I guess. I have a lot of heroes.
But, he's one of them.

Poor Zach.
Used to have the hugest crush on him, too; in eighth grade, I mean. Now I know him, and I like him more as a friend than I ever did as a crush back then.
Oysters, indie, and Christ. Such a sweet guy.

Sadly: such a sweet guy.
It's a pity that I can't tell him to snap out of it; I might come off as crushing (which would be unfaithful to Ian; I'll never be unfaithful to Ian) or clingy, and I'm already afraid that Josh thinks that. I have to sit back and let him quietly beat himself up in the most lighthearted ways. Argh.

Hoyaw. Josh and I have been getting together once a weekend within the past few weeks. Pretty cool guy, it turns out. He no longer intimidates me (like he and Tyler used to last year; it was very saddening).


By the way: Boston was beautiful. I loved it.