Try So Hard Not to Notice.

Don't feel too amazing today.
That's alright, though.

Travis, how was the timed writing today in English?
I'm going to try to make it up next week, but I don't know what to expect. :[




Mood: Difficult-to-Breathe-esque.
Music: "The Piano Song" - Meiko

Bend Me, Break Me, Anyway You Need Me.

Today's been pretty alright. Not too exciting, but good.

Job interview went alright yesterday. Might have been too quiet.
Might do some music scouting tomorrow based off of some Paste reviews. See how that goes... might find someone that I really like.

Rock Band = addictive and amazing.

Oh, speaking of amazing:

• Operator's Manual - Buzzcocks
• Juno Soundtrack

:D

I love new music. It makes me giggle with joy inside.


Mood: Awake
Music: "I Think I'm Paranoid" - Garbage

Animal I Have Become.

Soooo...
I'm such a nerd.
Because I'm excited about next year and all of the classes I'm taking.

• Art History AP
• Aquatic Science
• English III AP
• Pre-Calculus Pre-AP Dual (assuming that all goes as planned over the summer)
• Latin III Pre-AP
• Chemistry Pre-AP
• U.S. History AP Dual.
• Academic Decathlon (as an outside class).

So, yeah.
That, and today I received four letters from four separate colleges, asking me to attend.
Pretty freaking awesome? :D
Actually only two of them caught my interest, and only one of the two I'm kind of seriously considering. So, I don't know.

Anyways, Among the Thugs is really good. Not dear-God-my-life-has-been-changed-forever amazing, but it entertains me... kind of like reading Drive-By all over again, just with scary Manchester United fans from hell.

Valentine's Day = owned. :D
It was a nice, easy course card day. Hooray for me, yes? Didn't have too much work today (what little work I did have was pretty simplistic), and... Ian got me roses. :]

So.
I'm badass.
I feel badass.
So.
Take that.
And stuff.

And, tomorrow's the GT seminar field trip at the San Antonio Art Museum tomorrow.
So, I get to be retarded downtown with fellow GT kids and Ian. :D

Hooray~. :|
And, weirdly, Travis thinks I like Nathan.
Kind of weird.
Especially since I'm dating Ian. And love him arduously. And stuff.

:/

Dubbyew tee eff, mate?

Mood: Awake, but perky.
Music: "Cold" - Crossfade

Lovely Days Are Too Slow For a Duet Like You and I.

I haven't been terribly awake recently. Like... I don't know. Not very aware, I suppose.
But, all in all, that's alright.

My right bicep is larger than my left. Gross.

Anyways,
school was alright.

All grades are above a 90, although that may change here within the next few days... due to a quiz from hell in English today. Jesus Christ.
But, I got recommended for English III AP next yurr. Bad ass much?

Oh, and people are really whiny.
Hence why I initially rejected EmoSpace.

Ian kind of disappointed me this evening, and that kind of hurt.
I shouldn't assume anything, but I can't help but be a little upset at the prospect of him not being at school tomorrow. I mean... a headache is a headache. You don't have a fever, it's temporary, get over it, you have a fucking test tomorrow in class, get over it, babe.

Who knows?

Argh.
Anyways, Among the Thugs has actually been pretty good thus far. Quick read, too, if one leaves me alone. Kind of scary. I used to want to see a Manchester United football game before I gave up the ghost. Now, I'm a little afraid to.

Ha, ever since my mother was introduced to the pseudo-folk, acoustic indie Frames (with Glen Hansard, bless him), she think everything soft with melodic acoustic guitar in the background "sounds like the Frames."
HUGE difference between Blue October and Glen, mother. LISTEN for once in your life.

Mood: Awake.
Music: "Small World" - Huey Lewis & the News

Think Positively.

Mood: Enraged.
Music: - The Sunstreaks

I'm going to stab someone in the fucking face.
No joke.
Next person I see.
Their fucking face is fucking screwed.

I'm going to throw another fuck out there,
because I feel better when I do.

100 to an 80 = disastrously profound.
I'm about to destroy someone's face.

"I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry." - Maxine Waters

On a much happier note, my afternoon was spent with Ian at his place...
And, I finished Conrad's Part II of Heart of Darkness, which I kind of enjoyed...
Other than that, though, I'm just thriving off rage right here.
Maybe reading about drug-dealing Mexican thugs will make me feel better?
Ish?

Maybe Ian?
Argh.

Death to all faces.
As of right

Now.

Mechanical

So, I was mildly retarded last night and stayed up until three o' clock last night to finish This Lullaby.
I actually really, really liked. I'm really hesitant with novels directed towards my generation (oh my Gawd, don't get me started on that Twilight series. Anatha just doesn't do vampires, and that book made me kind of cynical) but it was a lot more realistic than I had expected... the core character was not a dispirited but innocent virgin in middle school or in her freshman year of high school, but was rather a hardass former-slut with a prejudiced, mechanical process for each and every relationship.
Until she met Dexter.

I want a Dexter.
But just someone I can hang out and be silly with.
Because Ian would totally own Dexter...
even though the former would not even ever come close to learning "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" on guitar.

But yeah.
Damn good book. Sex + Teenage realism (until the end, where it became slightly clichéd... but, eh)... =Horribly Charming, clumsy imperfect but adorable musician + major character development = good.

Anyway, school was alright.
A bit of homework, but nothing too bad.
Ian and I got into a huge arguement after school though.
It went for the best though. Cuddled excessively, and felt like dancing but ended up sleeping.
AIEEE, and I got my Latin T-Shirt. Yeah, you just wish that you had a sky-blue shirt with your language teacher's head on a Transformer's 'bot. Hell yes?

Tomorrow: Biology on meiosis and mitosis. Argh.

Mood: Aware.
Music: "Edge of Thorns" - Savatage

Bubble-Wand Mollusk

Talked to Ian about my nightmare last night.
Gah.
So stupid.

Anyways.

Today Nathan thought that I was going to be late to English, so I decided to slink extra slowly to class, just to see if I made it on time or not. It was pretty awesome... yeah, sure. Logan and Travis thought I looked like a 'tard, but that's alright.

Stuck sticky-notes all over the computer during Oral Interp today. That was pretty awesome.
And I don't think I like Sarah Murphy that much. At all.
Just annoying, I guess.
Lunch was pretty awesome... like I want to bite Maria's hamstring and throw my G-String at her too. Ell oh ell. Not to mention a spastic Rachel during Latin class ought to be horribly interesting.

Oh, I started reading This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen yesterday, and I love it.
Dexter = amazing.

Anyways, nothing too interesting about school...

Oh, and I'm tired of people trying to express themselves.
It just doesn't happen anymore, and I'm sick of people who think they are doing the world a favor by being understood and existentialistic to a point of uniquity where it's hardly WORTH IT ANYMORE.
We're all the same, and it makes me so...
I don't know.
They just need to stop.

Anyways, I'm going to start keeping a journal about my dreams, and maybe start talking to my parents about it, too. Like, I'm not even sure how they will react, but still.
Watching Ghost Hunters with Ian sucks. I don't care how "opinionated" an individual is or how many different theories there are in detecting apparitions, you don't need to antagonize another person's point of view if there is no certainty to anything in that particular field. Gar.

Fun fact for the day: both of Dr. Seuss's wives committed suicide. How sad.

"Too many have been dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity." - Albert Camus

Too hell with charity these days.

Mood: Tired but pleased.
Music: "Home" - Three Days Grace

Hold Your Grandmother's Bible to Your Breast

My computer gets confused easily, but always gets better when some DeVotchKa's on. :D
That, and my ass somehow got all bruise-esque. It's so sad.

Anyways, school wasn't too bad today... like, I thought today was going to be the ultimate suck because it was following the same footsteps as yesterday, but in the end it seemed to kind of go my way. Kind of nice, I'm not used to that. Very fulfilling (especially when you think the day is doomed to failure).

Biology - have to prepare for a quiz tomorr,w and I have some phase circle for meiosis to snip-snip. Icky.
Math - Mr. Becker was out again. Apparently, he dropped a 45-lb. weight on his toe and shattered it. Mrs. Becker said that it is one of the most disgusting things ever. In all honesty, I wanna see it. I think stuff like that is kind of badass.
W. History - computer lab... the worksheet is due on FRIDAY and I need to remember so I don't mentally destroy myself.
Lunch - I actually like talking to Noey. When you're trying to prove him wrong, it just causes him to drum up an argument because he's desperate to not appear inaccurate. If you shrug it off or antagonize him in a friendly way (which is possible) he's actually really fun. His company is actually more fulfilling than Elise's, which I never would have expected... in actuality, though, I probably should not be too surprised. Oh well?
Academic Decathlon - wrote two pages for an essay on Crane's Red Badge of Courage gave up, and just kind of chilled on the couch. Kind of neat-o.
Oral Interp - finished Test 6 for Spelling. I'm actually really liking it... I'm such a dork. It's so much fun, though.
Latin - translated a story and discussed it. I heart Latin and Mrs. Ong.
English - discussed Part I of Conrad's Heart of Darkness... I mentioned that Marlowe might actually sympathize with the black natives of Africa or at least feel a sense of immorality/injustice about their enslavement, and... it was a bit frustrating. In other English news, Travis wants me to go to his place on Sunday again (maybe for dinner :D) and Nathan has the most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen.

Day = pretty awesome.
I want to eat a prosciutto. Just so I can tell someone that I've eaten one, and have me explain what it is (because I'm sure that there are not very many people who know what a prosciutto is.)

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." - Oscar Wilde

Mood: Upbeat
Music: "How It Ends" - DeVotchKa

Wrong Time.

Today kind of sucked.
Or... it half did.
It was by far the worst day that I have had all year.
Which means that this year has by far been the best year I have ever had in school.

Elementary school = I was ignored, lonely, and socially awkward.
Middle School = I became sociable, started to wish that I hadn't been, and crap happened everywhere when it shouldn't've.
High School [Freshman]: Badass, with a side of indifference of academic incredulity.
High School [Sophomore]: Uh. Bad to the ass.

So Hooray.

Biology - worksheet and half sheet. Easy. Talked with Logan & Hunter almost the entire time. :]
Math - did a worksheet. Understood about 95 % of it. The other five percent kind of confuddled me to a point of hushed anger.
W. History - Illustration of Crappy Day #1. Will not go into detail.
Lunch - Noey actually made me feel better. I like Noey, I guess. He doesn't like Chelsy though. Baha.
Academic Decathlon - went onto Wikipedia and researched hamsters. Pretty awesome.
Oral Interp - spelling. Real easy.
Latin - we discussed the summer trip to Italy next year in '09. I'm actually extremely excited about it... I need to start bugging my parents about saving money for it, though. I really don't want to have to pay for all $3,000+ of it. I hope Ian can go... oh, and Travis, if you read this, you can come to! :D
English - Vocabulary, open-ended question, read a little bit, etcetera.

The most embarrassing thing ever happened to me at about five o' clock.
I won't go into detail about it, though. INTRIGUE, INTRIGUE.
But, anyways.

Yeah.
Piano lesson was alright.
Ish?
But. Yeah.

Ahem.

READ.
Gotrek & Felix = amazing.

Mood: Garbled.
Music : "Written In the Snow" - The Autumn Defense

Ice.

Ian's coming over today.
It ought to be pretty badass.
Along with every person that my parents know.

Otherwise, I need to read silly backs by a certain Joseph Conrad.
God.

Not totally awake yet, either. Nightmare this morning. 'Twas pretty jacked up.
Anyways... diet Dr. Pepper!
Because Travis & the Browns are amazing and have no qualms giving away free soda with benzoate and aspartame.

Hooray!

Mood: Tired but Happy.
Music: "Cassie" - Flyleaf

No Time to Waste In the Smoke

So, it's official.

TRAVIS IS A HAMSTER KILLER.
Killer of hamster. >:O

Yeah, I was really excited and wanted to show him my Schnopee Bear ('cause I love my hamster to death, and stuff) and when he's freaking holding it, he drops it. Like... insert paramount incredulity hurr.

But, yeah.
Today was really fun.

Rolled down a hill... swung on swings (and a tire one, too) until we got nauseated... worked on band stuff but didn't actually come down to anything... took 102 really awesome pictures... listened to music... sampled jalapeño Tabasco sauce for the first time EVER... yeah.
Just awesome.

And, tomorrow's going to be an Ian day.
Might fall asleep talking with him on the phone.

Might post something on LJ... just to show Dylan and Jasmine that I'm fine without them.
To let them know I'm alive.

Mood: Active
Music: "Celebration Girl" - Isa & the Filthy Tongues

Lost My Way,

1. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them?
Yes?

2. How long has it been since you last liked somebody?
Liked? A little bit over a year now.

3. Who was the last person to compliment you?
Probably Ian. He's pretty good at coming up with something random that gives you a good reason to like yourself more.

4. Does anything rhyme with your last name?
Oh my God, I don't think so. That's so sad.

5. What is your favorite thing to order from Coldstone?
Coffee ice cream with coconut shredding. It's. Amazing.

6. Is anything stuck in your head?
Savatage guitar solo. How weird is that?

7. What's all you did today?
Woke up... got onto EmoSpace ('cause I fail)... looked at my hamster... blog entry. Heavy morning.

8. Do you oftenly use the term "slut"?
I do sometimes, but not often. Used most often in Ian's general direction.

9. Have you ever tried training a dog?
Baha, no. Have no need to.

10. Who is the most physically attractive person on this planet?
I don't want to go into TOO much detail. Guess.

11. Do you regret anything you've done in the past 24 hours?
Er... maybe a little? I dunno. Too damn happy.

12. Did you talk to anybody random today?
Haven't spoken a word as of yet. I should talk to someone random today, though.

13. What will you be doing in 24 hours?
Waking up again? I 'unno.

14. Do you have HDTV?
Nuh-uh.

16. Where did you get your favorite pair of sunglasses?
I don't have any! Travis & I were supposed to get aviators but but but but... it never happened. Just another DISAPPOINTMENT from Travis. (I love yew Travis :D)

17. What was the last thing you dressed up as for Halloween?
I don't think I dressed up as anything. Just went as myself... which is frightening in itself.

18. What is your current relationship status?
No Anatha for you. :]

19. Write a brief statement saying anything you want to an anonymous person:
You have the most gorgeous blues eyes I have ever seen; too bad I'm too embarrassed to mention it. They're something to be really proud of, I think. . :/

21. Is anything currently frustrating you?
Um... not really. Ian's frustrating all the time but I'm not much better. So. No.

22. How do you deal with drama?
Depends. If it's Christy drama, I wave it off; anything else, though, I solve it and try to get back on track.

23. Are the best things in life free?
Yes. Especially sex. :]

24. Are your parents proud of your recent behavior?
Um, they haven't criticized it too much. I think they're alright with it.

25. Would you ever have a threesome with your friend and their bf/gf?
Um. No.

26. Why do you like the person you like?
This answer would be WAY too long if I elaborated. Ian's probably just the best person I've ever met.

27. Do you know all the colors in the rainbow?
Yes?

28. Are your shoes untied?
No shoes on my feet.

29. Who would you really like to become better friends with?
Nathan. He seems like a pretty good guy, wanna know him better.

30. Suck a dick.
Maybe later? No?

31. Who did you get this survey from?
Miss Kelly.

32. Do you have a calendar in your room?
Yes. Bunny Suicides = amazing.

33. Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Moat likely. I've never been tempted.

34. Do you personally know anybody who has more than five tattoos?
Yessir.

35. Do you prefer Jamba Juice or Starbucks?
Starbucks, I suppose. Never been to Jamba Juice. Should try it.

36. What is your fondest high school memory?
Um... it's a conglomeration of witty randomness, really.

37. Do you have trouble believing in yourself?
It varies. Most of the time, though, I'm pretty upbeat about my belief-ish. Ness.

38. Describe the outfit you are wearing?
White jacket and red shorts. Enough said.

39. What is the most romantic thing you've done for someone?
I... don't know. He does all of the romantic things usually, and it bothers me that he won't always let me do something for him.

40. Is anybody jealous of you?
Not that I'm aware of.

41. Do you use the internet daily?
Ish?

42. Could you imagine your life without your best friend?
Not really. It would be a terribly sad one.

43. Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
My hair is all... flat, I guess. No volume.

44. Who was the last person to make you cry?
Ian, probably.

45. Do you like change?
Can't stand it.

46. What is your favorite snack?
Food within arms length?

47. Do your boyfriends/girlfriends usually meet your parents?
Yes; they liked two of three, and they said I could keep Ian. :]

48. You need a new outfit, where do you go first?
Zumiez, Forever 21, or the classic Target. :]

Travis and I are going to be melodically badass in approximately four and a half hours.
Hell yes?